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ISBI 1.2: Let's Have a Baby!

000
Aaaaand we're back!

001
Hah! Won't stay the night, huh?!

002
Oh. Okay. You were serious then. Keepin' up with your stellar rep by sneaking out after Rosy's fallen asleep. Keep it classy, Remington!

003
Good! We can work on forcing Remington to stick around.

004
This should help.

005
Aww... Keeping up with his confusing mixed messages, he leaves her a rose before she goes to greet him. Do you like her or not, guy?

006
You'd think I'm taking a picture of their kiss, but no. I'm taking a picture of them kissing in front of another goddamn hole.

007
"See, now this is how you flirt. VERY SERIOUSLY. MAKE THIS FACE. POINT A LOT. FLIRTING."

008
This is where Rosy reconsiders carrying his spawn.

009
She immediately vomitted afterwards. Could be pregnancy, could be regret.

010
Ah, hell. Ask him to move in anyway!

011
Huzzah! He accepts!

012
What.

013
Well, with Remington's pathetic addition to the family bank account, they manage to build a terrifying second storey with only one window.

014
The gender-neutral, not scary at all nursery. Who needs windows or wallpaper or lights or furniture?!

015
With Remington now a member of the household, I get to give him a makeover! However, they have no money for new clothes, so he is resigned to his maid outfit for eternity.

016
Rosy needs a mid-day sleep as her motives suddenly drop dangerously. She seems to be in for a tough pregnancy.

017
I don't see WHY, though??? Procreating with the angry lounger??? Why would your unborn child be any trouble when s/he's half of this magnificent man?????

018
After getting up, throwing a book on the floor, answering the phone and screaming that Rosy was not available to talk, Remington tuckered himself out and went to sleep on the couch. For some reason.

019
Rosy continued to writhe in pregnant agony.

020
Somehow the walk from her bedroom to the kitchen bottomed out her full comfort bar. So, it's pretty much confirmed. She's carrying a demon.

021
I helped her get to somewhere more comfortable and then heard Remington screaming for me in the kitchen. Evidently, he's tired.

022
So get another plate of spaghetti! Sure! Makes perfect sense?!

023
Ah. I see. You needed a pillow.

024
Meanwhile, Rosy wandered outside for no reason except to make it impossible to get a shot of her belly popping.

025
Score!

026
Exhausted from eating and being uncomfortable, Rosy manages to collapse in the chair right outside her bedroom and fall asleep. I'm beginning to think this is less, "I'm Surrounded By Idiots", and more, "The Family of Idiots".

027
I help get her to bed...

028
... but can't do anything for this lost cause.

029
Uhhh...

030
Well, §6 is enough to live off of...

031
Oh lord.

032
You're literally RIGHT THERE! RIGHT IN FRONT!

033
Yeah, gross, isn't it? You stink now, huh? Gonna take a shower?

034
"THIS PLATE OF ROTTEN SPAGHETTI IS NOT MAKING ME CLEANER!!!!"

035
Yeah, try a grilled cheese. That might work.

036
"Morning bab--"
"GET OFF ME, WOMAN!"

037
"I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHY EATING ISN'T MAKING ME NOT SMELL."

038
Theeeeere ya go, buddy. You did it!

039
"Did you know that a shower, not eating, will make your body clean?"

040
And with that stunning display of intelligence, Rosy decides it's time to pop the question.

041
Remington accepts, maybe because he knows she's the only person who can put up with his insanity, or maybe just because he is, in fact, insane.

042
And we might as well get the marriage out of the way now, too.

043
Naturally, Remington spends their first night as husband and wife on his beloved sofa.

044
And Rosy popped again, at some point.

045
Okay. 1. How on earth do you get so absolutely filthy all the time? And 2. I thought we had this sorted? Shower? Remember that place? Remember how easy that was??

046
At least Rosy is happy with it...?

047
I made Rosy watch the cooking channel to gain a skill point and miraculously! Remington joined her and started getting a skill point, too. Maybe he'll actually become useful?! (I feel like I'm getting my hopes up for nothing.)

048
Uhhh....

049
After he lay on his special sofa for awhile, perhaps channelling his true demonic self, he arose from his rest to get a pot of ravioli out, yell at me about his sulphuric smell (likely from the evil trance he'd just emerged from), yell at me that he was hungry, and start cooking something else entirely. I think I was getting my hopes up with the cooking point.

050
I know you have to wash away the stench of hell that follows you everytime you sleep, but dude. The shower is right. there.

051
Uh-oh. Baby time!

052
Random because I don't hate myself enough yet.

053
Could be worse...

054
And my naming scheme for this ISBI Challenge is, "Let My Boyfriend Name All the Children". So, welcome to the family, Dracula and Freezer!

055
"Hey wow look at this, we have two little tiny humans somehow!"
I can't decide if Rosy's response would be one of equal surprise, or if the look on her face implies she's settled on full regret.

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